{Cheese and Beans}

Since deciding to continue with a personal blog a month or so ago, I have been wondering just how stupid I am. Of course there are many different ways somebody can be stupid, but I think I have a fair chance of nailing quite a few of them.

Shall we elaborate?

Do I really have anything to share worth reading?

Seriously. What on earth do I have to share with the wider world? What might other people want to read? What separates me from you?

Is my writing good enough?

Can I really string words together impressively enough to make reading them a pleasure, rather than a chore? Does my lack of literary training leave you, my pathetically small audience, gnashing your teeth as you wander off in search of better punctuation ?

How much does this damn blog cost?

In reality not so much. The price per month of one lunch from the sandwich guy that turns up at work each lunchtime. You might not think this much, but when multiplied throughout the year it becomes the price of 3 Moleskine notebooks, which most people don’t buy because they consider them too expensive.

I’m being flippant. We have reached the point in a so-so blog post where I flip-flop into a consideration of the statements I have made, and navel gaze insufferably about them. I promise to keep things short.

I have lots to share that I know others are interested in – my only concern is a classic one; the most popular subjects are the most difficult to write about. The children, adoption, work, our (mine and Wendy’s) relationship, our real life struggles, and my real thoughts about life, the universe and everything.

Why the emphasis on the word “real” ? Perhaps because I very rarely stand my own ideas and opinions up to be knocked down by the passing crowd. Perhaps it’s time I did so. The one subject I have systematically avoided within the annuls of Cheese and Beans has been my religious faith – or lack of it. Considering the propensity of others to preach their faith or belief from the rooftops, perhaps it’s time I spoke out.

I find difficulty expressing negativity. I’m not talking about the little things – complaining about the rain, or my laptop, or our pet cat. I’m talking about the big stuff; the objectional views and behaviour of others – some of whom I know and like.

The writing quality issue is one to ask somebody more knowledgeable than myself. I will admit to never writing drafts, editing, or spell checking. The words you read are as they left my fingers. I’m never going to write “On The Road”, but at least you know there is an honesty in my misuse of grammar and punctuation.

The quality of content tends to increase when I am well, not stressed, and not tired. It’s not rocket science.

Perhaps I should close this post with the admission that this blog runs at a loss, and probably always will. I am lucky enough to claim at least a little competence at a few things in my quiet existence on this ball of mud – and writing is not one that I might be remembered for commercially. I can live with that.

The next sentence is going to cause a number of people to slap their own foreheads with their hands – perhaps the entire readership – you know, all six of you. I’m just warning you in advance so you don’t try and blame me for personal injury.

I’m considering buying a domain name and webspace to build a “proper” blog.

If I’m going to live up to my word and put effort into the words I share, I may as well attempt to do so properly. This whole crackpot plan will of course mean moving everything again, and will probably cause a number of people who have half heartedly followed my various utterings to throw their arms in the air, and wander off to do something more interesting – you know, like cutting their toenails.

A little voice on one of my shoulders is shouting something about the platform not being important. Apparently it’s all about content – or rather words – and they better be damn interesting if an audience is going to be enticed towards them.

I have no problem writing – with a little application I know damn well I can compose far better words than I typically spew out.

If I do this, I’m going to have to lower my guard significantly. People are most interested in really weird shit – the deep, dark thoughts you wouldn’t normally share. The controversial opinions. The personality hatchet jobs you might normally keep to yourself. Without the honesty, the words lose their power, and the story becomes mundane.

I’m aware that since having children I’ve been busily building walls. Those will have to come down. If I do get the wrecking ball out, it will be scary as hell to start with, but might also be rather fun.

Oh crap. If I do this, I have to think of a name…

After much thought and deliberation – at least a twenty minutes during the cycle home from work – I have decided that it might be prudent to resurrect “cheeseandbeans.com”, which I already own. Truth be told, I can’t think up a better name than “Cheese and Beans”

“kingoftheidiots.com” is available, if you’re interested, as is “secondtotheleft.com”

For the past few weeks I have been investing a little more effort into the words and pictures I contribute to the world you and I know as the blogosphere. It has reminded me why I love blogging – and indeed writing.

It’s all about spending time with myself – listening to my own music – writing my own words – sharing my own pictures. Consuming content, and generating new content.

Life has a habit of sneaking up on us from time to time, and the unimportant consumes us. No matter how selfless we might like to be, we forget the most important thing to look after is number one – ourself. It pays to invest – to find something for yourself, that belongs to nobody else.

Your thoughts below to you, and you alone. The words you share are a manifestation of those thoughts, and as such are a piece of you shared with the passing crowd.

While immersing myself back into the world of those who blog – who share their life and thoughts online – I found myself thinking about commenting; about their importance or unimportance. After worrying for some days that comments could be seen as a form of attention seeking, I realised something.

Feedback from the passing crowd reminds us that we are not all the same. The differences make people interesting – without them our stories, views, and opinions would hold no interest. While this inevitably opens the door to deliberate controversy as a platform building technique, it also invites us to find like minded people.

Concordant feedback leads to the affirmation that you are a part of something bigger than yourself – that you are not alone in your thoughts and opinions. You’re not quite as weird as you perhaps thought.

Weird is good though. Everybody needs to embrace their inner weird sometimes. The really weird stuff is always the most interesting, and yet typically it is only discovered by those closest to us – those we share our life with.

If you happen upon this philosophical navel examination of a post, thankyou. Thank you for taking the time. Now go embrace your inner weirdness, and share a little of it with the world. The world will be listening.

I have been playing with Tumblr again (my page lives at jonbeckett.tumblr.com). I know I shouldn’t but I can’t leave it alone. It’s addictive. Imagine Twitter with images, videos, sound, quotes, and full blog posts. Imagine Facebook without family, and no walls – no borders.

Tumblr seems to be filled with creative people – photographers, artists, writers, readers… and supports those who appreciate great content too; allowing the sharing of anything as a central feature.

Rather than comment, you are encouraged to show content on your own page, with your own comment as an additional part of the content – a good analogy might be buying a print of a painting from a gallery to show in your own house.

Tumblr has lots of toys too – an opt-in directory of members, global search, all manner of apps (including a wonderful iPhone app), and integrations with numerous blogging platforms.

The lack of comments is liberating. While we like to encourage others to comment on blog posts, what purpose do they actually serve? How many of the A-List bloggers allow comments any more? There’s something uncomfortably self-absorbed about encouraging comment on the content we produce as bloggers.

Above all, Tumblr wins because everything is open. By default all of your content is available to everybody – member or not. This brings responsibility, but there is no requirement to provide a real identity within the site either.

Oh – one last thing – Tumblr has no censorship. You own your content. Remember what I was saying about responsibility?

Here goes – shot with the iPod Nano, starring our youngest, and co-starring the next oldest.

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