The End of Community
I grew up in small town England in the 1970s. I can still remember moving house when I was five years old, and spending the first nights on bare floorboards. I remember the sound of footsteps on the landing, and the novelty of stairs. I also remember being turfed out into the neighbourhood – probably on the first night – to make friends with the neighbouring children.
We made friends instantly – in the way small children do. Within days we were visiting each other’s houses, running riot through each other’s gardens, and knocking on each other’s doors to ask opening gambits along the lines of “Hello Mrs Smith, can Claire come out to play?”, or “Can I go on your garden to get my ball back please?”
Now think about it. When was the last time you saw any young children playing outside, unsupervised ?
I watched an interesting video on the internet some time ago – detailing a list of dangerous activities that children should be allowed to do; among them “playing with fire”, and “using knives”. The presentation showed inuit children gutting fish, and cooking it on an open fire. It strikes me that the presentation missed something much more basic – letting kids play outside.
Do you know the names of your next door neighbours? How about anybody else in the neighbourhood? I’m willing to bet (if you are from a similar generation to myself, or older), you knew everybody in the street – adults by last name, and all children by either first name or nickname. Your parents didn’t arrange play dates for you – you figured it out yourself. The only rule governing your adventures and exploration was “Dinner Time”, and “Bed Time” in the summer. If you weren’t back when dinner hit the table, you were in all sorts of trouble.
Adults were allowed to reprimand other people’s children too – and the children didn’t answer back. You would never tell your parents if Mr Jones up the road had told you off, because the punishment would almost certainly have been multiplied.
Forgive me for stepping into crackpot theory territory, but I tend to think there is a link between not letting kids play outside, and community vanishing in front of our eyes. If you don’t learn how to make friends of your own volition, you are not going to naturally form similar bonds later in life.
Technology is supposed to have come to our aid in the form of “Social Networking” – with the likes of Facebook and Twitter providing a back channel to our daily lives through which we can maintain friendships that would otherwise founder.
Social Networking is a the solution to a problem that didn’t exist. It allows community to form between self selecting group of people who are already known to each other – which is quite different than a real world community, where the members are brought together randomly.
On another level, social networking was created to assist us, when in practice it causes the most basic forms of communication – speech, and physical interaction – to erode.
You could argue that modern communication methods – social networks, and instant messaging – are causing the beginnings of H G Wells Morlock and Eloi – which we can distill into the disparity between the “haves” and the “have nots”. Those with the iPhones, Blackberries, Laptops and other such gadgets hide behind walls – both real and imaginary – pretending to form friendships with many they will never meet. Those without such modern “essentials” will meanwhile be helping, supporting, and talking to each other. Visiting each other unannounced.
When was the last time any of your friends knocked on the door without calling first ?
